If you’re a mother who works, handles the kids and household responsibilities, remembers the hubby, hits the gym, and makes time for friends… well, then you are a Super Mom. Nobody is perfect, but to learn how to balance your life can at times seem like a juggling act in a three-ring circus. Life gets in the way and makes it hard to work in time for yourself, and often times Mom gets put on the back burner. Neglecting yourself and the things you appreciate in life is not the answer, and you will surely suffer if you don’t stop to evaluate where you’re at from time to time. This is why it’s important to maintain your relationships and remember that before you were a mother, you were a lot of other things in your life.
Motherhood changes who you are for sure, and usually molds you into the best version of yourself that you can be. But aside from this, before you were a mother you were a woman, sometimes with a career, and for many, a wife or partner. When you dedicated yourself to motherhood it’s a lifelong commitment of unconditional love that nothing can ever truly prepare you for. You have your wonderful spouse by your side, that career you’ve worked so hard for, those girls you see at spin class every week at the gym, the list continues—all of these things serving as the foundation to your life and the backbone that holds you up. Then it happens: you’re pregnant. Whether you were trying or not, all babies are truly miracles in this world and suddenly you are left with one thing on your mind, “I’m having a baby”.
It’s during this time that your concentration begins to shift elsewhere. All of a sudden, the life that you built for yourself starts to transform, and the nucleus of your world begins to turn—and now your focus is turning to all things baby. It’s nearly impossible not to focus most of your energy on the life growing inside of you, wondering over all the new adventures you will experience once your baby is brought into the world. It’s then that your interests sometimes begin to change, too. To be a mother, it begins from the moment conception is realized. When you see that little plus sign on that fortune teller stick that reads, “pregnant”. To be a mother, you must sacrifice. Not only your body, but your time, energy, efforts, attention, so many things that you don’t realize before that day comes.
Once that day is upon you, and suddenly the wait is over, it’s not just about you anymore, or your significant other. Or that job you’ve worked your butt off to get. And friends… oh, those things I used to have? And you can forget about the gym. In those first few precious months of your new baby’s life your priorities are really their priorities, and your world tends to revolve around that little newborn calling the shots. Not all women are the same and no two households are ever identical, but the sad truth is—reality will begin to set in before you know it. You might start pondering thoughts like, “this is my life, now…. How did I get here?” Although pregnancy is not designed for those who lack the rare virtue of patience, once it ends and the baby is a part of your life (on the outside of your body) on an every day basis, inevitably things start to change.
It’s important for this shift to happen in your life, but to come out mentally and emotionally stable you cannot let it encompass your every waking moment. Yes, you are a Mom now and that in and of itself is a super amazing feat that you should cherish and congratulate yourself for. But you have to remember that you can be successful again in all of the things that make you who you are. You don’t have to let go of the things that you love. Your spouse needs to see that woman that they fell in love with, the one that you were before baby came in the picture. You need to keep your friends close to you, and if they are mothers, share in motherhood with them and think of it as an experience you can have together. If you want to go to the gym, many offer free babysitting onsite. If you learn to let go of the things that you love because you are so busy being a Mom, well then all you will be at the end of the day is a Mom. And not that there is anything wrong with that, but will you really be happy?
Think of it like this: you don’t have to feel guilty to want to do things that don’t include your new baby. And like any relationship, it’s not healthy to spend every waking, breathing moment with someone—even if that little someone is the baby you gave birth to. Make time for you and your needs, because at the end of the day we all have a Super Mom ready to take on the world inside of us.
About This Blogger: Modi Palmer-Ramos
Modi Palmer-Ramos resides in Houston, Texas with her family. She loves to write, talk about all things mom/child, watch NFL football, and knows her way around the kitchen. She believes that life is short to be taken too seriously, and she tries to find humor in all situations. Her source of happiness stems from her family, and doing what she loves—writing.